How to talk in an arranged marriage meeting

Soon to be married

Marriage is of the biggest life-changing decisions of one’s life, everyone out there is looking for the “right one”, but when encountered in a meeting with a person who could be their potential life partner, a person might find themselves confused and flustered, as to what should they even talk about?

Before diving right into the answer to this question, we need to first understand our expectations when it comes to marriage. What are your ideologies and beliefs? what do you prioritize in life? What’s the most important thing you are looking for in your partner? Once you know the answers to all of these questions, you’ll have a clear vision as to with whom you’ll be the most compatible.


Start with light-hearted questions

Meeting a new person, especially in such a context can be quite nerve-wracking for most people out there, but it’s okay to be nervous. Start with general ice-breaking questions like the passing comment on the weather or place you’re in, compliment on how they look. You can even start with basic introductory questions even if you know the answer to those questions, just try digging into minor details. Such icebreaking questions will drive awkwardness out and give you an insight into what kind of personality they have. This will also help you get more settled and comfortable about asking more intense questions later on.

Clearing expectations

Discuss your expectations

This is one of the most important factors. Ask them what kind of traits and attributes they expect their partner to have. What kind of role do they expect their partner to play in marriage? How will the finances be handled? What certain duties do you expect your spouse to perform? What are the rights you want your partner to acknowledge? Will religion be an important factor in your relationship? If yes, then do you expect your partner to comply with your beliefs? Will both of the spouses be perusing their respective careers? If yes, then how are they expected to manage their time and serve the family (despite their gender)?

Personal views regarding starting a new family

Even though this question might seem too soon to be discussed, it’s crucially important to know your partner’s view regarding it, as one’s decision to start a family can be a very significant part of marriage. You need to know whether or not they intend to have children if yes, then when and how many because the last thing you want is to be pressurized by the societal views and family drama concerning such matters. Discuss how you expect your children to be raised and what kind of environment you want them to be brought up in.

Communicate boundaries

No matter whatever relationship you are in, it’s important for you set boundaries that will protect your values. Even though in South Asian society this might seem a very unfamiliar concept it is one of the predominant factors in a healthy relationship, as respecting your partner’s boundaries will save you from all the disputes that might result in unpleasant marriage.

Hopefully, these little steps will help you to have a great meeting!